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2009-10-23T21:48:10Z

Scorpius's Memoirs: chapter 1

2009-10-15T06:15:28Z

The rambling memoirs of

Scorpius Malfoy

Which are almost completely to do with

Albus Severus Potter

And exactly why the hell we ever even spoke to each other.

I was eleven years old, with a chili bowl hair cut which I hated, and my father’s words ringing in my ears: “Remember, you’re a Malfoy!” It wasn’t like I was ever bloody well allowed to forget it, either. To this day, people I don’t even know will sneer at me because I’m Draco Malfoy’s son, or worse, Lucius Malfoy’s grandson. I had been sorted right and proper into Slytherin house (even after I had been almost sure I’d end up in Hufflepuff) and was looking forward to things being the way they should. Albus Potter’s older brother James had been sorted into Gryffindor, and as he stumbled up the stage there was no doubt in anybody’s mind that he would too. That was why the entire Great Hall seemed to gasp, and then everything went eerily silent, when the sorting hat shouted SLYTHERIN!

And the little twit was grinning! Not in a smug, ‘ha ha, I knew it’ way, but a shy, pleased and genuine smile. He didn’t seem to notice how little applause he was getting, just hopped off the three-legged stool and scurried over to MY house table. Of course, at that time I had no idea what his dad had said to him at King’s Cross, nor did I even recollect that his middle name was Severus, though there was quite the buzz about it when he was born. The idea that a Potter, especially one that looked so much like Harry Potter himself, should be in Slytherin had never even crossed my mind. Albus Potter belonged in Gryffindor! We were supposed to be casual rivals, battling wits, trying to best each other, and dammit if every bit of advice my father had given me wasn’t contradicting themselves in my head, until I felt more lost and alone than ever before. How could I form allies and friendships with my housemates, if one of them was Potter? How could I beat Potter at every test, and beat him on the Quidditch pitch if we were on the same side?! My world crumbled around me.

Over the next several weeks I avoided Potter at all costs, even to the point of neglecting my other housemates as well. More than once I was reading through one of our textbooks on the sleek leather couch, only to have Potter come in and sit down to read a bit himself. At these moments, image be dammed, I got the blooming fuck out of there, and barricaded myself in my bed. I didn’t make friends; I made good use of the curtains of my four-poster and kept them out of my little world. I didn’t even use the Slytherin common room, if anyone else was in there. My grades went through the roof, even as I dug myself deeper and deeper into the pit of despair.

I had been at Hogwarts all of six weeks when I decided to kill myself. I thought I’d do it at the Owlery; send my suicide letter to my father, then jump out the window.

The letter went something like this:

Dear Father,

I’m sure you’ve heard that I’m getting very good grades in school, but it’s just not enough. The only reason I study so much is because I don’t have any friends to do other things with. Albus Potter is in Slytherin and I feel like I don’t belong at all. I can’t do this any more. I’m sorry for being such a disapointment.

Love,

Scorpius

The winds whipped through my hair and over my face as I stood on the window ledge, watching Frances, the gorgeous female eagle owl Father had bought me just before school, disappear into the distance. I took a couple very deep breaths, and was inching my toes closer to the very edge of my perch when I heard the Owlry door open behind me. I didn’t care. Let the unsuspecting twerp watch me splatter below, they would tell my father first hand that it wasn’t an accident.

“Are you going to jump?”

Crap. It was Potter.

“So what if I am?” I mumbled, staring determinedly at the ground so very far below me, “go away.”

I could hear him coming closer to me and braced myself to fight off his attempt to pull me off the ledge. As I predicted, his hand grabbed the back of my shirt, but he didn’t try to drag me backwards. Instead he used me as leverage to hoist himself onto the window ledge with me.

“I-if you jump, you’ll t-take me with you” the fear was evident in his voice, and when I turned a bit to face him my jaw dropped.

Albus Potter was standing on the edge of a 100ft (more or less…probably more…) drop, one hand gripping tightly at the back of my tailored cotton button-up, the other covering his eyes. He was teetering precariously.

“Are you out of your mind?!” I cried, shifting my weight to put my hand on his chest to prevent him angling too far forward.

“I’m afraid of heights!” he squeaked, surprised at the touch from a combination of fear and the fact that he hadn’t seen it coming.

Afraid of heights. I kid you not.

“You can’t be afraid of heights!”

“Like hell I can’t!” he squeaked, still keeping his eyes squeezed tightly shut. “Oh, merlinmerlinmerlinmerlinmerlin.”

We were going to fall, I could feel it. My left arm was the only thing holding on to the wall, as the other one tried to keep

him from tilting too far forward. Both his hands were occupied, the left one now twisting the back of my shirt out of shape, the other still pressed hard against his eyes. The wind whipped up and slapped my face, causing me to lose my balance even more. We both pressed forward for a moment before I was just able to lean back and push on him hard enough to throw us onto the safety of the owlry floor…and into a whole lot of owl shit.

“oh, disgusting!” I found myself torn between wanting to frantically brush off the bird crap from my favorite shirt (well, I was going to kill myself, why not wear my best?), and not wanting to touch it. I turned to see Potter, not even bothering to try to get clean, looking very proud of himself.

Fuck.

“Stand back!” I said, scrambling to my feet quickly, ready to run out the window rather than let him have the satisfaction.

“Oh no you don’t!” he cried, grabbing the front of my shirt roughly (my poor shirt!). We’re pretty evenly matched, and I don’t see myself getting from that grip easily, though I could sort of pull him along. So we’re back to square one: I jump, he comes with me.

“Don’t jump.” He commanded, all while I’m struggling to get free.

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

“You can’t do anything! You owe your life to me! It’s a spell!” I sort of stopped struggling and stared. He can’t be serious. Only, he is. He always is, as I would learn over the next few days, weeks, months, and years.

“Wa-What?” I must have looked very un-Malfoy-ish in that moment, but that was another thing I would have to learn to get used to.

“It’s a spell,” he nodded knowingly, “sort of like the one my dad used.” I know the one. Everyone knows the one. That’s how famous his dad is, everyone knows an unnamed spell that his dad used once. Once! Well, twice if you count when he was a baby, but that was more cast on him, than him using it on everyone…Everyone!

“Oh, not that one!” he says, seeing the look on my face, “it’s a different one. A simpler one.”

“Well…what does it do…?”

“Erm, well…” he put the tip of his index finger to his lips in an overly cute way that brought out my best sneer, “I risked my life to save yours, so…now you owe me!” he looked so proud.

“It’s not like you saved me from rampaging centaurs or an evil wizard, here, Potter!”

“No, I saved you from yourself!”

“Yeah, yeah…” I narrowed my eyes at him angrily, “what? Like your dad did for mine?”

He frowned at this, instead of the smug smile I had expected.

“I am not my father,” he said quietly.

“I’m not my father either!”

“Good, then.” Potter was smiling again. I just stared at him, but he didn’t seem to notice the ridiculousness of it all, or if he did, he didn’t act like it.

“What is your problem?” I asked, mouth sort of hanging open, threading one of my hands through the hated hair.

“I don’t have any friends” he answered flatly “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t. I mean, there’s Rosie, but she’s my cousin and a Gryffindor, so I don’t think that counts. And the thing is, well, it doesn’t look like you do either. I mean, you don’t have any cousins, right? So you don’t even have the have-to-be-friends person like I do.”

“What about your brother?” I ask, not stopping to think about what I’m saying.

“I’m not friends with my brother!” the look he gave me was so decidedly Slytherin that I couldn’t help but laugh a little. He grinned at my giggle, and as soon as I stopped laughing, a sort of awkward silence settled between us.

“so…” I coughed, and looked to the side, trying not to meet his eyes. Imagine my surprise when a hand was presented before my face.

“friends?” he asked, jiggling his hand a tiny bit, asking for it to be shook. I blinked, meeting those large green orbs and swallowing. Something in my head told me this was a turning point. For good or for worse, something was about to happen.

“sure, why not?” I stuck out my hand and we shook.

Nothing would ever be the same.

Review pwease!

Wotcher (whatever it means)

Best of Friends (Albus/Scorpius)

2009-07-08T20:42:49Z

Best of Friends!
Witch Weekly's Interview with Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy
By Eloise Switt

It has been rumored for quite some time now that the children of the famed Harry Potter and infamous Draco Malfoy are close friends. However, until last week I was not sure the reports I had heard were entirely accurate. Yes, Albus and Scorpius were both sorted into Slytherin, and so share a room at Hogwarts, but is that where the so-called friendship ended? I took my chances and sent an owl to Hogwarts requesting an interview with the illusive (albeit hunky) teens and was stunned when I received a reply! Albus and Scorpius both consented on two conditions: the interview be presented in their own words (heard stories about Rita Skeeter, have you boys?), and they take the interview together. Well, what could I do? I agreed, rather than refuse the readers of Witch Weekly such an opportunity. I sat down with the two Slytherins in a small coffee shop in Hogsmead this past weekend that students were allowed off campus.

Albus Severus Potter is a perfect meld of his parents. His hair is a deliciously messy raven-black, falling into bright emerald eyes, which are un-obscured by glasses. His face and arms have the lightest dusting of freckles, this coupled with full lips and long lashes speak to his mother's genes. He's shorter than I expected, only a few inches taller than I (at about 5'1"), but he more than makes up for it with a body he attributes to frequent swims in the lake and skinny parents. I doubt this is the whole truth, because if laundry needs to be done, a witch could use his washboard abs! He was a vision in a black turtleneck and fitted denims, a thin sliver of tan tummy revealing itself when he stretched his toned arms about his head.

Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy is taller than Albus, built lean. The lightest color blonde hair I've even seen, hanging long, to his shoulders. His eyes are blue and bright, illuminating his pale face, and framed by wispy lashes. His features are much less sharp than his father's, but still aristocratic, like he was sculpted out of porcelain. He sported a white button-up, and simple black trousers, with black winter robes which gaped at the front. I must admit I became distracted more than once because he took off his outer-robe before the interview and I could not stop watching his muscles flex beneath his sleeves!

I set the parchment and Quick Quote Quill between us on the table so they could watch and be sure the conversation was written accurately. Albus and Scorpius set their chairs as close as they could so they were both directly across the table from me. We made our introductions and ordered our tea before I asked the first question.

Witch Weekly: All right, first things first. The two of you are in the same year at Hogwarts, same house.

Albus: Slytherin.

Right, Slytherin. Is it safe for the world to assume the two of you are friends?

Scorpius: "Safe"? Hmm, perhaps not...(laughs)

(laughs)

So...acquaintances, then?

What Scorpius means (chuckle) is that we are Slytherins. "Safe to assume" is probably not the best phrase you could have used.

Ah, (laughs) then shall I say, are the rumors true? Specifically the rumor that the two of you are practically inseparable?

The two of us do spend most of our time together, no doubt. But then, like you said, we are in the same year, in the same house...

Although, with the other Slytherins in our year...

No, we don't really socialize with them too often...

No, not particularly.

We do have quite a few friends outside our house, though.

Mostly my family. Not all, though.

Our biggest obstacle has always been people who hate our parents, you understand. We've got Death Eater types who don't like that my father wasn't too keen on being one, then you've got all the rest who hate him because he was a Death Eater.

Slytherins don't like me because my whole family are Gryffindors. Gryffindors don't like that I was sorted into Slytherin. It's kind of a mess.

True that.

Would you say that it's been a hard road for the two of you? Staying friends, I mean?

Oh, Merlin, no!
(almost at the same time)
Are you kidding?

If it weren't for Scorpius, I wouldn't have friends. Plain and simple.

Is that the truth? What about you, Scorpius? Do you feel the same way?

Absolutely! Didn't you hear what I said earlier? No one cared for us, from the moment we set foot in Hogwarts. We were entirely isolated before we became friends. The Slytherins wanted nothing to do with us because of who our fathers were, and the rest of the school wanted nothing to do with us because we were Slytherins!

Talk about a double standard. I hear it all the time from my parents, cousins, my family at large: just because people are different from you, doesn't make them inferior. They're talking, of course, about muggleborns. But when it comes to Slytherins! "Oh, woah, we meant everyone except Slytherins!"

But we are talking about a house that was once home to Tom Riddle, later to be known as Lord Voldemort.

Not to mention a whole host of other dark wizards and witches. We know. We know. But we are also talking about a school not a cult.

By the way, did you know Helga Hufflepuff enslaved the house elves? I'm sure there's some people out there who would consider that really horrible. (laughs)

There you have it! (laughs)

You're speaking, of course, of the Society for the Protection of Elfish Welfare?

S.P.E.W. was founded by my aunt, yes.

Surely you can't be comparing Helga Hufflepuff to You-Know-Who?!

No-no-no, just...

Severus Snape. Slytherin. Ex-Death Eater. Double...er...triple...maybe quadruple, spy. Albus is named after him.

He's an interesting man. I've spoken with his portrait more than once.

Your father named you for him and Dumbledore.

Yes.

(There was an extended pause)

How about a little change of topic? How long have you two been friends? Since your first year at Hogwarts?

Just about.

A couple weeks in.

Yes, a couple weeks in. I noticed I wasn't the only one with no friends.

And I noticed he wasn't a complete prat.

Thank you.

Don't let it go to your head, Potter.

(snicker)

So, would you say it was primarily a strategic move? Becoming friends, I mean.

At first, maybe.

Definitely, at first. I'd say, most definitely. At first.

And now?

And now...

Now...

(both laugh)

What can I say? He's my best friend.

We do spend an almost appalling amount of time together, is what my father would say. Not a waking hour apart most days during the school year.

(mumbles something)

And most of the summer months. Easter break, a few days out of the Christmas break as well.

Did you say something, Albus?

Who me? No.

(laughs) He did, he did say something.

I did not, shut up.

Wasn't it you, telling me to behave myself and watch what I say, and you go and mumble that under your breath! Silly, silly, Albus!

Shut up, you tosser! Or I'll go ahead and tell her what I said and then your dad will hear about it!

You wouldn't dare!

My goodness, is that Paurseltongue? You can both speak it?

Not naturally, no. Neither of us would be able to understand a real snake, but we can communicate with each other through the phonetics of it.

I apologize. I did not realize that the Quick Quill would translate it.

I must admit, I didn't know it could either!

Still, I must apologize. It was very rude of me.

Yes, it was. Very rude. (laughs)

You must have other questions.

Ah! Oh yes! What are your hobbies?

Quidditch. I like to write. Love music.

Music, yes. Writing, yes, me too. Quidditch, not so much.

Really?! That's surprising, what with your father's reputation. Why not?

Heights!

Scorpius!

He's deathly afraid of heights! He can't fly for the life of him.

Is this true?

Yes, dammit.

Have you ever tried riding a broomstick?

Yes, but it was...

Oh, he's tried! In fact, he tries all the time! I mean, I let him ride mine just once, and he keeps trying to get back on it! Loves riding my broomstick, does Albus.

Merlin's rusty knickers! SHUT UP!

Er..Excuse me?

You're excused.

Scorpius! Ignore him, please, ignore him.

I'm rather interested in what he has to say.

(errrragha!)

Would you look at how it spelled that? (laughs)

Damn you.

The truth is, he was going to spin you some kind of story about how he doesn't like the social system of sports. How the people who play Quidditch are always the popular ones. Just a couple years ago, we got together all the people on campus who were, let's say...socially under privileged.

Most of them our friends.

True. Rosie and I trained the lot of them. We worked on it all year, and then got together at the Burrow during that summer to play Quidditch matches as teams. Every single person got a spot on their house team. Our little group of comrades were the most popular students on campus almost over night!

A complete regime change!

And all Albus' idea.

And yours.

I will take some of the credit, but only because you offered it and it is yours to dish out.

Do the two of you do this often? Come up with schemes to promote yourselves and your friends?

Would we be Slytherins if we didn't?

I don't like to think of them as schemes. We don't try to hide what we're doing.

Snape's Army. (laughs)

Is that what you call yourselves?

Not...seriously. (sigh) You see, Snape was smart, ambitious, and surprisingly loyal.

But he was also dreadfully unpopular.

Us, our little group of friends, we've all been ostracized for one reason or another, and not one of us because of something we can change.

So the two of you have...adopted other students who are like yourselves?

That's a really good way to look at it.

I hate to stop this here, but I do have more questions.

Ask away.

Are there any romances in the works?

(Laughs) Well, Albus, is there?

No. (laughing) How about you, ferret face? Got a lady on the side?

Ferret face?!

(laughs)

No. No girlfriend.

How about a boyfriend? I have to ask, with how close the two of you are...jokes about broomsticks...

Er...

Ahem...(laughs)

Is there a romance closer to home?

You're seriously asking that? He's my best friend!

Friendship is something that lasts when passions fade away.

Yeah, exactly.

Albus looked over at Scorpius with the most genuine smile I'd seen since meeting him. The two met eyes and shared a moment of understanding that I felt privileged to have witnessed. Scorpius bumped Albus' shoulder with his own, looking away, cheeks tingeing pink with embarrassment. "Is that all?" Albus asked. It seemed they were done, at least for the time being. I finited my quill, rolled up my parchment, and we said our goodbyes.

I feel I must proclaim these two studs single! But watch out witches, it may not be you they're looking for! Could the heirs to the Malfoy and Potter fortunes be seekers for the other team?! Only time will tell!

Albus or Scorpius, who do you think is hottest?
Send your owls to Witch Weekly c/o Eloise Switt

Writer's Block: Gotcha.

2008-04-01T16:23:51Z

What is the best April Fools' Day joke you've ever fallen victim to?

View 500 Answers

Last year my mother came into my room and looked down at me sadly where I was reading on my bed.

"Your principal just called" she said somberly, "You've been suspended from school because you've had too many absences and your GPA is falling"

"That's ridiculous!" I cried, imidiately defensive, "My school is insane! How is taking someone out of class supposed to improve their attendance and grades?!"

I was panicking. She shrugged.

"All I know is that you're not supposed to go to school tomorrow and you've got a meeting with principal Edney on Friday."

I stared slack jawed at her. A small little smile snuck up onto her face. It started small, but grew quickly. I threw my book at her, but she shielded herself with door, laughing heartily.

This year I'm telling her I'm pregnant.

Writer's Block: Love Is...

2008-02-15T02:18:03Z

Who or what do you really love?

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Somehow I knew, from the moment we met, that this was meant to be. Every second that we spent together, made me more certain this day would come. I know in my heart that our love was written long before we were in this life, and will continue on to the next. You have been my hope, my pillar of strength, my ally, and my secret clown when I thought none existed. You bring me joy and happiness far beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. That is why I have no doubts, how I can charge head long into commitment knowing absolutely that you will be there to catch me when I fall. I know that you would never trap me, and I know that you will never abandon me. And so, today I give to you all of myself, body, mind, and spirit, not simply until death do us part, but for all eternity; for this life, and for every moment of eternity. I will love you forever.

Will you marry me?

Once upon a time....

2007-07-04T15:09:47Z

Once upon a time there was a young princess who lived in a tower. It was beautifully decorated with colorful mosaics and shiny gold and silver trim that reflected the sun, but there were no doors or stairs leading up to her chamber, just a single window from which she could look down. It was so far from the ground that whenever someone would walk by she would have to cry out and wave her arms around to be noticed, and even then the passerby would most often think she was but a mad woman locked up for her own safety, or that of others.

Occasionally, a prince on a great stallion would happen by, and they would regard her as a prospective bride, but most often the prince could not be bothered to go through the trouble of finding a way up to her, once they realized she didn't have enormously long hair to climb up on. Still they would wave, and sometimes blow kisses, and ever once in a while play at climbing up to see her, but they never got very far, because they never tried very hard.

One day, she saw a handsome young man, with golden hair, riding by on a white horse. Tired of waiting for a prince to save her, she decided to take her fate into her own hands, and jumped out the window. She landed on the back of his horse, and they galloped away down the road. The prince was enormously happy. He hadn't had to try a thing and he'd gotten a beautiful princess to be his bride. Now, he couldn't quite see her, since she was sitting behind him, but he would always compliment her beauty, and once or twice leaned sideways on the horse to grab some flowers as they rode by a field of them. Unfortunately, as time went by, her presence there with him became less special. He knew she was there, but she wasn't going anywhere, so he stopped going out of his way please her. It became all about getting back to his castle for the wedding.

"oh, such a pretty sunset" the princess would say, "let's ride to the top of that hill and watch it"

"we can't" the copper haired prince would say "we're almost there. We can't afford to take any detours. Now, we're coming through dangerous territory, just be quite."

The princess did not like this new tone of voice, nor did she appreciate being told to be quite. Unfortunately what he'd said was true, for the most part. They were going through dangerous territory. This was the abandoned land, once reined over by an evil queen, and though she had ruled with an iron fist, now that she was gone, the kingdom was without order at all. As they passed, with the princess getting angrier, and without the prince noticing her at all, a few people gathered around and watched them. Most were thieves, some were violent, and all were liars. But the princess didn't see just the darkness. As she looked around, she saw the beauty of the landscape, the faces of people, and, through the crowd, she saw one face in particular.

He was dark, dark hair and dark eyes, with skin the color of light brown sugar. He stared straight at her, as though she couldn't see him. She understood why he would think that, because he blinded so well into the background, but she met his eyes, and in a few moments he began to realize that she wasn't just looking into the crowd, but at him. Fear washed over his features, and he turned away and was lost into the sea of people.

It would take them about a week to pass through this land, not that the prince said that to his bride, but this was what he knew. Surprisingly, the princess had stopped being upset about the prince's dismissal, and was now only mildly annoyed when he spoke to her at all. She was much more preoccupied with the man she had seen in the crowd, and it seemed to her that now she saw him everywhere.

One night, camped out, and while the prince was asleep, the princess went exploring in the woods. She knew it was dangerous, but she wanted to explore more than anything. Ever since she'd gotten out of her tower she'd felt as though she was still trapped, and all she'd ever wanted to do was see the world. But, of course, there was something else she was hoping to see: the dark man she'd in the crowd, alone among many.

She found him, and she spoke to him, and she fell in love with him, almost without noticing. Any thoughts of returning to her prince left her mind, and he agreed to protect her and take her anywhere she wished. That night, bandits attacked the prince's camp, and for the rest of his life he would blame the princess from the tower.

Every day that the princess and the dark man walked together, she learned more about him. Every puddle of mud he lifted her over, ever scratch on her body that he kissed, every minute that he listened to her thoughts, the ones that she had never told anyone, everything about him she fell more and more in love with. And with all the love she had, she looked deeper into his heart, and knew of him and the evil queen, and knew that he was the true prince of the land. For you see, so many years ago the prince's family left the throne, wishing only for a normal, happy life without the burden of royal duties, but knowing what a responsible and good young man he was, left him in charge of the kingdom. But he was young, and he fell in love with a witch. She cast a delicate spell on him, loosely bound, because she knew he would not try to escape. But after her death, he was lost without the spell. He could not rule over the land in fear of being just as evil as she, but he could not be good and true because her darkness had been his light for so long. But the princess saw the light within him, and yearned to bring it to the surface.

She praised him every moment of everyday, as he did to her. They gave each other everything they would want, and more than they would ever ask for. As their love grew, and as they traveled, they spread happiness far and wide and found themselves living in a world they never knew existed; a happy one.